This is just a quick post to ask the following question:
Would you date a man who makes less than you?
Do you think it’s okay to date a woman who makes more than you?
Feel free to quote the Bible, share personal experiences or tell us what your pastor/spiritual mentor or friends think.
After I get a few responses, I will let you all know what I think.
Can’t wait to hear from you!
Thank you all for your responses. The reason I asked this question is because I’ve been noticing a trend where women are becoming the higher wage earners in their relationships. This seems to have led to a variety of good and bad changes in the marital relationship, as well as in the dating relationship. Role changes, respect, etc., etc. (I’ll probably address this in more detail in another post.) Even though this is the case, I still hear a lot of women say they want a man who makes a certain amount of money, has a certain type of degree or has certain type of assets, when the reality is that many men simply don’t have it like that.
That made me wonder what we really value about our men – is it their income or their level of spirituality? We all choose mates for a variety of reason, but in today’s changing economy (with downsizing, layoffs and businesses closing down and merging), it seems like income is the last thing you can depend on. Much more important seems to be the content of your prospective mate’s character – is he or she a hard worker, does he or she love God and is he or she a loving person? Not to say a good-hearted person who refuses to work is a good choice, but a materialistic workaholic is probably not a very good choice either.
There is no security to be found in a paycheck. Ask the Silicon Valley IT workers. Ask the dot-com entrepreneuers. Ask the people who used to work for Ford and Chrysler. Ask yourself if you’ve recently experienced a ‘downsize’ in your paycheck.
Doug – I’m really sorry for the experience you had with a Christian woman. And, to answer your question, I do not think that most of us realize what a ‘covenant’ really means. To many of us, a marriage covenant only lasts until we no longer ‘feel like it.’ Now, I’m not saying there are not valid reasons to get divorced (the Bible covers that), but I know of many partners who go into it lightheartedly and head out at the first sign of trouble. God’s idea of covenant involved personal sacrifice, dedication, continuity and faithfulness. His covenant to us was so powerful that He carried it out even when we thought nothing about Him (while we were yet sinners). He personally sacrificed His own beloved son in agreement with His covenant to be our God and to save us from this world and from sin.
How many of us are willing to sacrifice our very lives to honor our commitments? Not very many.
This has truly been an interesting debate. Please feel free to let me know of any further thoughts you all might have.