Monthly Archives: September 2006

What Do You Have to Offer?

Hello everyone!

Sorry I haven’t been around for a bit – school has got me into somewhat of a bind (I’ve started back full-time).  But I’m back – and, believe me, I have a lot on my mind!

Okay – here is one of my pet peeves.  I will hear a woman say how she’d like to meet a tall, handsome man, with a good job and a good education.  And he should love children and get along with his mom and be spiritual and, you know, just  fill in the blanks (think: perfect).  And I will take a look at her and she is still living with her mom, working at McDonald’s, taking the bus to work and only going to church to catch herself a ‘good’ man.  (Not that there’s anything with working at McDonald’s or catching the bus.)  My point is that I always want to turn to this woman and say, What do you have to offer?

Why, oh, why do we think we can attract a ‘perfect’ man when we are so far from it ourselves?  Why do we never think of the fly in the ointment (which is sure to come) as we detail how tall he should be, what type of school he should have attended and what type of car he be driving.

So let me ask you (and maybe you should ask yourself) – What do you have to offer this gorgeous, spiritual man you’d like to come into your life?  What kind of car are you driving?  Where did you attend school?  How is your spirituality?  No, I don’t think you have to be rich, gorgeous or a size 2 to attract a man, but I think we sometimes need to take a good hard look at ourselves before we advertise for this ‘perfect’ one.

The sad truth is this – we attract what we are.  If you are attracting no-account losers, you need to ask yourself why.  If you are attracting people who never go to church, while all the spiritual brothers ignore you, you need to ask yourself why.  And if you can’t seem to attract anybody, you need to ask yourself why.

I think we would all be a little better off if we took some of that energy we use to fantasize about the perfect guy and become the ‘perfect woman.’  Find your passion and follow it.  It may be going back to school, getting a better job, traveling the world or losing a couple of pounds.  Be the type of woman who could get a date with a classy, spirit-led guy.  Drive your own nice car and let him be wowed by your style.  Or read all the classics and learn a foreign language so that you can hold you own in any intellectual conversation.

I’m just keeping it real – I had to figure out for myself why certain men were attracted to me (married, non-commital, etc.).  Until I finally realized it had a whole lot to do with me.  I didn’t seem like I was interested in anything serious (this was during my serial dating phase), so they didn’t take me seriously either.

I don’t believe every woman is too picky when it comes to dating men, but some of us definitely are.  And I know that if we could devote just a little of that energy to improving ourselves, the results would be much more worthwhile.

What do you think?