Witnessing From the Bedroom
I’ve been an (adult) member of a church since 1997, so I experienced the Christian dating scence up close and personal for many years. And, as scary as it is on the ‘outside’ (in the world), it sometimes seemed even scarier on the inside. We think when we are newly saved that God will send the man or woman of our dreams who will respect our boundaries, fall in love, commit and then we will get married. Or we think that dating a nice Christian brother or sister will somehow be significantly different than dating someone who doesn’t know Christ. And it is in many ways. You have someone who understands your commitment to God, that hopefully enjoys church as much as you do and can be counted on to help you get through your crisis. But many times these relationships don’t work out. So we turn to Plan B.
Which I call ‘Witnessing From the Bedroom.”
What exactly is Witnessing From the Bedroom? When we begin to date in the hopes of getting married, but get distracted, side-tracked and caught up in the sexual relationship. Somehow, we think that, okay, if I stick with this for a while, he (or she) will eventually come to realize they love me and that they want to take this relationship further. That by giving my body to him or her (or providing a sexual service for him or her), I am showing my seriousness and tying him or her closer to me.
I only have one thing to say about this practice: it doesn’t work.
If a man or woman want to commit to you, they will. Sex does not make anyone more committed. Sex will not make anyone stay in a relationship with you. And, finally, sex is not an effective means of taking the relationship to the next level. Sex in the wrong context is just that - sex. A meaningless physical act between two people.
I’m not one of those people who talk about being a born-again Virgin or the evils of fornication (we all know that sex in a loving, married relationship is a thing of Beauty as God created it to be), but I am one of those people who say: Be Smart! Take care of yourself and your body. And recognize the consequences of your actions when you engage in a sexual relationship with another person.
Next time, I will talk about the physical, emotional and spiritual changes that come when you are sexually involved with another person.
Until then - Be Blessed!
February 23, 2007 at 8:47 pm
request for clarification? what do you mean you say you’re not one who claims to be a “born-again virgin” or who discusses the “evils of fornication? What exactly are your views on pre-marital sex?
February 27, 2007 at 1:34 am
Thank you for asking the question. What is my view of pre-marital sex? That it is not God’s view of how a relationship should be conducted. That it is a sin. The Bible says,
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? (1 Corinthians 6:15-19)”
The ideal state for sex is that it take place between two married adults. It is wrong to have sex outside of marriage. But I cannot stand in judgment of those who have done it (or are actively engaged in doing it). Just like I do not stand in judgment of those who drink, take drugs, lie, slander, gossip or engage in a hundred other sins on a regular basis.
I honestly feel that my job is to share what God says and allow Him to change hearts and minds to do better, to let go of sin so each of us can become a better man or woman of God. I have personally decided to focus my ministry on how we can become better Christians. I truly believe that as we embrace the things of God, we will leave our former selves behind and become more ‘perfect’ (i.e., mature) in Christ. And then, and only then, we will be able to live in accordance with His word.
March 1, 2007 at 7:31 pm
thanks sonya - that helps!
April 3, 2007 at 8:05 pm
I mentioned before you have a voice for this generation. Give yourself to God and allow Him to use you more and more.
April 13, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Again well stated. Within every relationship I have there is a moment of truth that defines the motives and the context in which I will either move closer or distance myself from the individual..and the statements goes something like this: “I don’t believe in pre-martial sex”. For some its our last conversation, and I’m thinking “good”. For others, they say, I can respect that, and I’m thinking, “good”. Either way, all things work together for my “good”.
June 20, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Hello–
One thing–as a man–that I can find some satisfaction in is that I was not intimate with the (christian) woman that I was formerly married to until AFTER we got married. Folks either thought I was tremendously strong or a liar. Her brother even thanked me for it. My retort: don’t thnak me for it. You see I know that I am accountable to God for how I treat the woman and I want only His best. I am at a point where in regard to these matters I can go the rest of my life wanting rather han to compromise myself through fornication.
I don’t have the gift of celibacy(sp?) I know now why it is a “gift.” Women–this woman especially–are attractive to me. But I do have a choice. People need to understand that the Gospel is about liberty and CHOICE. The time is way past for sinners and saints aside to use exuses for their incontinence.
December 25, 2007 at 3:36 am
Its in the New Testament. I think its Paul. It might be James. Either way, it in the Word.
The scripture is talking about sins we can commit. It says that stealing, lying, etc are sins done outside of the body. But fornication - sex- is a sin thats in the body.
The man is putting “It” in. The woman is taking “It” in.
Its all inside their bodies-just like the bible says.
And,
to prove it, we have sexually transmitted diseases. Where are these diseases At? Inside his body, Inside her body.
Therefore, fornication, adultry are one of God’s most hated sins that we can do. The bible say so.
Thats why in Corinthinans Chap 6 it says that its better to marry than to burn.
Burn in Hell, yeah. Burn in hot heated lust, definitely. So let God and Jesus, Jesus and God pick you out a husband or wife. Once you get married, the bible says the married bed can get wild and be undefiled. Just no animals or freaky deaky stuff.
***Now Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night****