Can Christians Be Sexy?

With the popularity of low riders, belly shirts, navel piercings and other such fashion trends, we have to ask ourselves:  Can Christians Be Sexy?

First, we have to consider what 'sexy' is and the implications of being considered 'sexy' in today's world.  The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines it as follows:

sex·y   Audio pronunciation of ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (sks)
adj. sex·i·er, sex·i·est

  1. Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.
  2. Slang. Highly appealing or interesting; attractive: “The recruiting brochures are getting sexier” (Jack R. Wentworth).

Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire – hmm, is this how we want to present ourselves? Maybe not.  (And ladies, I apologize – but most of this posting will be for you.  I know there is a double standard for men and women, but after we acknowledge that fact, we just have to figure out a way to deal with it.)

Here's the thing – so many sins can be traced back to the sexual – fornication, adultery, some forms of covetousness, lust – not to mention the potential addictive and destructive nature of sex.  So do we want to dress or act in a way that appeals solely to the sexual desires of the members of the opposite sex? If only to help out our Christian brothers, I'd have to say – probably not.

I know it's tempting to want to be fashionable – as a recent news report revealed, it's harder to find shirts of normal length sometimes than belly shirts.  And, yes, while you might be able to wear it, the question is not can you, but should you.

The Bible admonishes that women "…..adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefastness and sobriety; not with braided hair, and gold or pearls or costly raiment; but (which becometh women professing godliness) through good works. 1 Titus 2:9-10)"  Clearly the emphasis here is for a women to be more modest than flashy and to 'display' her value through the good works with which she occupies herself.  In other words, that it's not necessarily about what's on the outside, but what's on the inside.

I like my low riders as well as the next person, but I also realize that, as a Christian, I have to be a model for what is appropriate as a follower of Christ.  And that is your duty as well – to model being a Christian – particularly for non-Christians.  In this respect, you are a leader – however you dress, whatever you say and whatever you do will be interpreted in light of your professed Christianity.  Fair?  No.  Realistic?  Yes.

So – think about it the next time you pull out that color-coordinated, hot outfit that you plan to wear on that next outing with your girlfriends.  Get dressed and take a good long look in the mirror.  And think to yourself – what are my clothes saying about me?  What will people think when they see me?  Is this how I see myself?

The choice is up to you, but I humbly suggest that you seriously consider the above questions and make the best decision possible about what you are about to wear.  And that's all any of us can do….

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30 responses to “Can Christians Be Sexy?

  1. I agree. Also, it goes back to loving your neighbor as your self (Matthew 27:22-39). I don’t think that it’s very loving at all to wear something that could potentially cause a brother to stumble (Romans 14:14-23). Does that mean that men shouldn’t guard their eyes? Of course not. But as women, we need to be especially aware of their weak points ;) The way we dress can affect mens’ thoughts, actions and the way they percieve us.

  2. Intersting TOPIC. ….

    I am a christian and a woman and urban and young. So i can relate. BUT THE QUESTION ISN”T CAN CHRISTIANS BE SEXY, ITS SHOULD CHRISTIANS DRESS SEXY.

    Because in my opinion there is nothing more arousing, highly appealing, or attractive than an amazing man of God who worships, leads, follows, submits, resists, encourages, etc.

    So when I saw the topic I immediately said YES. I saw where u were going with is according to dress. But thats not what the topic eluded to.

    I THINK ITS IMPORTANT FOR WOMEN AND MEN OF GOD to be honest and not stray away so much from the current culture. (remain relevant). I know in todays language sexy insinuates something different but I know physically what is arousing to me but also spiritually what is attractive to me.

    That would be a whole nother topic…. :-)

  3. la argenteena:

    I totally agree with you – I don’t think it’s very loving to hit a man where he is vulnerable. I’ve been in many a church service where I’ve seen our Christian brothers distracted by a sister wearing a truly interesting outfit. I always thought that, even if they had been trying to pay attention, that definitely put a crimp into their focus! BTW – Thank you for putting a link to my blog on yours. I added you to my blogroll as well!

    N2hisheart:

    Like that name! You’re right – this article is more about should Christians dress sexy than can they be sexy. This topic has fascinated me ever since I saw an episode of Oprah when a woman professing to be a Christian stood up in leather pants and a sweater. She looked great, but Oprah said something like, I’ve never seen a Christian that looked quite like you! And I’ve wondered ever since…

    Yes, there is nothing more appealing that a man who is submitted to God. I think a lot of our attraction to men (and vice versa) is more about being attracted to the God within us than the obvious appeal of physical attraction.

    I would love to hear more about what is spiritually attractive to you! That would definitely be an interesting topic.

  4. Hi Sonya, I’m loving this website so far. It’s a breath of fresh air to finally see a Christ-based site that encourages and appreciates Christian singles. I find myself nodding my head in agreement to some of the articles posted in previous months due to my own personal experiences dealing with relationships with the opposite sex.

    In regards to this article on can Christians dress sexy, I believe that what is all comes down to is what is that person’s motive. What is their intention when they decide to put that outfit on? I know for myself personally that God put me in check with some of the shirts that I was wearing, although they were not vulgar, I felt they may have been a little too cleavage-revealing for church, lol. I think it’s based on the person’s motive, and where they are at in their spiritual walk. I’ve been to churches where new believers were still growing and learing but have not come to the point where their “dress” and some old bad habits were completely changed. God may have not convicted them when it comes to the low-rider pants revealing the thong underwear in the back, etc. As they continue to grow, eventually he will deal with them on what’s appropriate dress as a Christian woman and that is the point where they should be obedient and make some wardrobe changes. Another thing that people should practice but don’t use is common-sense. If your going to church, should you be wearing daisy-dukes, or tube tops?

  5. Hello Dina!

    Thank you for coming by. I hope you come by often.

    I totally agree with you that God will eventually convict you of what is appropriate to wear in church. There is a whole segment of my wardrobe that never sees the inside of a church door. And, when I have worn something I felt was questionable, I spend the whole time there tugging on my clothes and feeling completely and miserably uncomfortable. It’s so not worth it! I have another friend whose entire wardrobe consists of items she feels are appropriate for church wear. She says that if she can’t wear it to church, she doesn’t buy it. That may also be a good philosophy to follow when buying clothes (and hopefully I will get there one day, ’cause I ain’t there yet!).

    And people do grow the longer they attend church. The important thing is that they go – not how they are dressed. Hopefully, people will grow and get the message as they see what the older, more mature women are wearing in the church. Thank God for the church mothers and ‘big sisters’ who help each of us along the way!

  6. I don’t think there is much disagreement about what a Christian woman should wear in public, the Bible speaks of modesty. But what about a Christian woman, in private, with her husband? Is it wrong for a husband to want his wife to dress in sexy clothes for him? To wear a bikini in their private swimming pool where only he will see her? Must she always wear a full length dress, even in the bedroom, prior to copulaion? The obvious answer to me, would seem to be no, but I can not find anything in the Bible to support that and most websites like this, seem to be oriented towards a single mentality and make little or no mention about such things as they relate to a married couple.

  7. Yes, Wayfarer this is a single Christian website. But, I’ve found plenty of good advice for married couples on the web as well. What do I think about the whole married and modest thing? That what goes on between a married man and his wife is between them and them alone. Most of the edicts against being too flashy apply to being in public. When it comes to a married couple, the woman is told to respect and obey her husband and the man is told to love his wife the way Christ loved the church. I think with those ideas in mind, it will be easy enough for a couple to find common ground in private. Respect and love for one another will enable a couple to please each other in whatever way they feel is best.

  8. Ok, I hear you….. However, is it really fair to downplay our beauty ? I would love nothing less know, behind closed doors, that I am ‘all that.’ And honestly, God has blessed me with beauty. But, it is very unfair to have your boyfriend, husband, significant other….. to continually notice other females who dress attractively, and yet, disregard you as ‘sexy’ just because you aren’t ‘whoring yourself out.’ I believe that much of this responsibility lies with the Christian males. They are supposed to be the ‘head of household’… Well, if they are not honoring their signif other by appreciating their beauty, and by having a ‘roaming eye.’ then they are hardly honorable and hence, are the creator and sustaining factor of the problem. So , listen up, Christian males, tame your ‘roaming eyes’ and recognize the beauty that you have beside you. Just because she isn’t whoring herself out, doesn’t mean she would look less (or even BETTER!) wearing that particular outfit in private!!!!!!

    • I TOTALLY agree!

      I think its so hard to get a balance. As a girl you want to be seen as attractive to all but only sexy by your husband & its hard to get an appropriate balance when today’s ‘norm’ is very very revealing.

      I think that if my boyfriend or husband didnt have a wondering eye, i would find it much less of a temptation to wear sexy clothes. To be honest, even being a heterosexual girl, i find it hard not to look when a girl is wearing a revealing outfit, just because its shocking.. so if i was a guy, i can imagine how much harder it would be not to look.

  9. My father was always one who hammered into me to keep everything covered and that when you do so, it makes men more interested to know who you are on the inside instead of what you are on the outside. Even though I’m far from petite today, I still take pride in dressing myself in a manner that compliments my personality and the occassion. I like getting compliments on how I put my outfits together which makes me look like a young woman instead of the object of someone’s lustful desire. There is a way to still dress womanly without degrading yourself but enhancing your natural inner & outer beauty. I think that when you see both men and women who take pride in dressing to their own style and wear things that compliments who they are in Christ, certain people just seem to stand out even more and it just makes the Christ in them shine even more brightly.

  10. Hmmm, this in an interesting forum, however I dont know if I can really agree with some of the discussion……..I was just wondering, cause some of you were saying what you wear in church is alot different than what you were elsewhere…..but I am thinking, how is it Christian to have double standards like that???? Wearing those clothing that you know is wrong in church, why would it be any better at the mall or somewhere else??? HOw can something be a sin in one building and not in another…….I am confused???
    Well thats it for now

  11. As a man I would admonish my **bretheren** that self control is still a choice we have. I f we lose it, then others will make it for you and that makes you less (of/than) a man. I often pray before I go to church: “God, help me not to look at anything I’m not supposed to.” –amen.

  12. –oh and one more thing: there’s no such thing as equality between men and women, especially in a Christian context. God made us distinct for a reason… let’s celebrate, enjoy, and rejoice (sp?) in this.

  13. I TOTALLY agree with Violet B “There is a way to still dress womanly without degrading yourself but enhancing your natural inner & outer beauty.” We must remember that we do represent God, and one of the things I think of when I think of my God is BEAUTIFUL!!!! How are we to help save young girls from the temptation of the world, when we church women all look “busted” and “plain”. I’m not saying that we lose our minds and compete with the world, because that would just take us down a road of wickedness, but we must consider what unbelievers, and those unsaved see when they look at us. Yes, as Christians we are being taught to look at the inside, but if I am an unsaved, or a recently saved teen, I am not going to listen WHOLEHEARTEDLY to someone talking about “saving yourself for marriage” when I don’t even believe they are being tempted by the offer (cuz it don’t look like no one wants them). I also agree with Trisha (and I teach this to my youth group) that if we can’t wear it/do it/ say it in church then we must not do it ANYWHERE because we the people of God ARE THE CHURCH!!! All this to say, sophistication, moderation, accentuation, and dedication to Christian principles is how you will eventually attract a Godly man! You will only attract your “Knight in Shining Armor” after you realize that God your Father is KING, and that you his daughter ARE a PRINCESS, and carry yourself as such.

  14. Hi,
    This is a very interesting thread. I am a single Christian and the Lord has done a mighty work in my heart over the past couple years about how I present myself. So, I agree wholeheartedly with the person who mentioned that when a new convert is still wearing “questionable” clothing (to church or elsewhere), stating that perhaps the lady simply is not convicted by God, yet. Little by little the Lord has chipped away at me – AND at my website.

    I don’t know if this is appropriate, but long story short, I have converted my physical lingerie store to an on-line lingerie store for the discerning, married couple. I personally believe it is a sin to NOT have a fulfilling sex life as a married couple, unless both agree to not have sex for whatever reason. That said, my site is designed to make available some fun and sexy lingerie, WITHOUT the risk of seeing “soft porn”, so to speak. I wanted to offer the link to my site for the married couples, here, as well as for those who have a wedding coming up. The site is at http://www.intimateattitudes.net.

    God bless!
    Wanda

    • Assuming that the following is true:
      “That said, my site is designed to make available some fun and sexy lingerie, WITHOUT the risk of seeing “soft porn”, so to speak…”

      & the site is for married couples…that’s nice!

  15. I agree with Trisha 100%. Why should the standard of dress be different
    when you are away from church? We are to honor the Lord at all times. If you are dressing in a way that provokes a mans sexual desire then you are walking in sin. We are called to be holy not sexy. How many sexy Christians are in heaven? Zero

  16. The bottom line is this. We are supposed to be vessels of the Holy Ghost. Ambassadors for Christ. Soldiers of the Lord. So, how many female soldiers do you see with their cleavage hanging out for all to see? Also, how many male soildiers do you see wearing tight hip hugging jeans or tight pexoid popping muscle t-shirts.
    The bible says we are to withdraw from even the appearance of evil. PERIORD.
    ***Now Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night*****

  17. I think there is two sides ton the story… Im a seventeen year old guy and when girls dress unmodestly i can look at that and dwell on it and by doing so sin or i have the choice not to lust after her me being tempted is not sin BUT i have to seek the Lord and not LET myself think about it, i need to be trying not to be thinking about it period BUT Jesus says simply “Whoever causes one of these little ones 5 who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Mathew 18 verse 4-5 New American Bible(i like Old King James more)
    So that pretty much somes it up for Girls and guys dont dress in a way that is Provocitive and if you do and you know you doing it you are in fact sinning.. and that should be a big deal..

    Hey by the way Question for you ladies.. Guy with big Muscles but the shirts on is it pretty easy to be lustful for him? Just Wondering bc i like working out(though i would not say im that Noticeably big lol)

    • i found your reply impressive & commend you for being dedicated to keep your focus on Christ…God bless you! As far as the last comment regarding muscles…i’m not sure if I understand it but personally I think no lust issues would happen because you work, have muscles & am wearing a normal fitting (not snug t) shirt…unless its an issue within someones heart already. Godbless!

  18. There is no such thing as equality between men and women?
    I shudder at the thought.
    I think Keith is confusing difference, in function and biology, with equality. These are two very different things.
    Of course, men and women have different issues that they deal with, different concerns and responsibilities but in God’s eyes especially, we are all regardless of gender and color or whatever we choose to define us, equal.

  19. To Whom It May concern,

    This is Rev. Robert Wright, Editor for http://www.Christian.com which is a social network made specifically for Christians, by Christians, to directly fulfill Christian’s needs. Christian.com has many great features aside from the obvious like christian TV, prayer request or even find a church/receive advice and to offer the ENTIRE christian community an outlet to join together. We have emailed you because we have interest in collaborating with you and your blog to help us spread the good word. I look forward for your response regarding the matter,

    Thanks!

    God Bless

    |Rev.Robert Wright|Christian.com|
    |1 International Blvd.|Mahwah, NJ 07495|
    |rev.robertwright@gmail.com|

  20. Hello I took a quick read through this thread and would like to add some thoughts

    As a reasonably attractive christian woman in the middle of a divorce I did not ask for. I find myself wondering about life post divorce. After feelings of being totally rejected and always putting my husband first I am enjoying new life. I am taking care of myself I find when I dress well I feel better what is sexy,? Define it. Is it dressing anyway that has a hint of showing that I am female. I don’t want to have all my cleavage showing but if the clothing makes me feel feminine and good about myself so I am motivated to go out and do things instead of staying at home with my windows closed because I dont want to face the world.

    Also are we only allowed to be sexy if we have a husband. What if none will ever be forthcoming. I don’t believe in premarital sex and I may never marry again. However unlife before I will buy myself pretty sleepwear for me. I am not putting life on hold and waiting for the husband. I may have a glass of wine and play soothing music at home for me.

    I will wear a pretty dress that flatters my figure because my opinion of how I look counts., I am not waiting for a man to dress up so I can have that affirmation.

    Yes we are to live our lives for God and yes God can fill every need at the same time we still have to get up and cook the food that God has provided and eat it. In the same way I think a degree of modesty is required but I don’t think that women should wait for the sexy clothes for husbands or boyfriends that may or may not materialize. We still need to live our lives.

    If nothing sexy is appropriate then I think christians should not wear even whole bathing suits. Because a bathing suit for even olympic swimmers would be revealing too much.

    Just my two cents

  21. its very good, its part of love if i can personaly get one who is ready for it. pls i need one let the person send to me.

  22. enjoyingGodsgifts

    While I do not claim to be an expert on scripture I will claim to be one that not only believes in scripture but also believes the continuous study of scripture brings us much closer to an understanding with God.

    I also want to state I am a male so while I believe what I have to say here is irrelevant to that fact I want to be honest with you all and state that I am male. You may give or take credence to my thoughts knowing that fact or simply feel that my gender really does not make any difference at all. I believe it does not because what I have to say goes for both male as well as female Christians.

    It does not take much study to realize the Bible admonishes excess and that would include this subject. The Bible also teaches modesty and reverence. Certainly not just in a sexual nature as the Bible clearly points out the sins of the Pharisees as they made public demonstrations as to “their faith”.

    With that said, God created us, both female and male to look upon each other with desire. “Be fruitful and multiply”. God gave us a desire for one another as a gift. That desire is an overwhelming at times but still wonderful gift. So, where am I going with this? I do not want to see my wife dressing in a way to draw the amorous eyes and carnal feelings of other men. She likewise, feels the same about me. We both can be current without going overboard. At home and alone is something all together different. What we choose as man and wife to wear or not wear, in order to please the eyes and arouse each other in our monogamous and christian love is more than acceptable in the eyes of God as we are doing as he wants. Cleaving to one another and enjoying the pleasure we are allowed and consented to by God. That is what makes this so special. This time alone, is exactly what God intended between one man and one woman. If a man and his wife choose to dress in what some would call a provocative way but, for only each other, are we not following the path God gave us. Don’t get me wrong. If a couple chooses not to do this certainly they are not wrong. But if a husband or a wife within the confines of privacy dress, act, or in any way do something to attract the one they love, certainly, they are acting with love within what God has given us as a gift In short, if the “provocative” nature and/or attire we act under or dress with is for the purpose of “provoking”excitement, desire and pleasure of our spouse, we are only pleasing each other as God intended for us to do. It is not a sin for spouses to look upon each other with want and desire and it is not a sin for us individually decide to draw the desire from our spouse. It is as I said before, a gift from God. I personally fine it a wonderful gift.

  23. I’m not attracted to any men in the church. Most men are not in the chuch but in the world.

  24. Snowman Prowling

    I think Men in the Church are incredibly attractive, Quite Arousing… However We Always maintain Barriers, We want No Sins Inside us… But I am damned as Barriers are but Rubber Souls, easy to Break Will… But When a Man can stand up there Call himself “Father” And Just let out everything he believes in, Take a gamble in belief and Faith, Then You Need Him… And God always Giveth to Those Who Need… He Always Answers my Prayers and I am in Return As Devoted a Man as I can be…

  25. Kind of a problem: you know, well-endowed men or women will be noticeable whatever they wear (or the lack of it), and whether it’s muscle or
    natural physique/physical attributes… it’s going to be a turn on, for those who view the body, and people as beautiful, and to be appreciated for what they have, are, or what-have-you. Even so, it may be arousing, whether you think on it overly much, or even just note in passing. It can’t be helped. The thing is to learn to appreciate it, without falling on the floor over it… consider it a wondrous gift from God, to be used in the appropriate manner, (and also try not to be envious in the process, if someone is far greater than you, which will always occur somewhere, sometime). Praise God for it, that
    there are those we can love to look at, and appreciate them. And it’s not wrong to do so. Otherwise, ask yourself, did God make the angels ugly?
    If he didn’t also love and appreciate beauty, he wouldn’t have allowed it, or
    surrounded Himself with it. In the proper context, everything can be beautiful. Be thankful.

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