Characteristics of a Christian Wife
(Continued from Characteristics of a Christian Husband)
Following are scriptures concerning the role and characteristics of a Christian Wife.
1. She should not be a nag:
Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome (contentious or strife-causing) wife.
2. She should be industrious, hard-working, able to provide for her family, wise and able to bring honor to you:
Proverbs 31 (excerpts)
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed (to be fully clothed) in scarlet (Commentary: scarlet–or, "purple," by reason of the dyes used, the best fabrics; as a matter of taste also; the color suits cold. (Fausset, A. R., A.M. "Commentary on Proverbs 31". "Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible".))
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
3. She is Willing to Be Submissive
Ephesians 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.(Commentary: From v. 22 to the end he speaks of the duties of husbands and wives; and he speaks of these in a Christian manner, setting the church as an example of the wife’s subjection, and Christ as an example of love in husbands. I. The duty prescribed to wives is submission to their husbands in the Lord (v. 22), which submission includes the honouring and obeying of them, and that from a principle of love to them. They must do this in compliance with God’s authority, who has commanded it, which is doing it as unto the Lord; or it may be understood by way of similitude and likeness, so that the sense may be, "as, being devoted to God, you submit yourselves unto him.’’ (From: Henry, Matthew. "Commentary on Ephesians 5". "Matthew Henry Complete Commentary on the Whole Bible". ))
June 19, 2006 at 6:29 pm
What if she has all the above stated qualities but i am not attracted to her. Do i have to be attracted to the person i marry.
June 20, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Of course you should be attracted to your future wife. One of the attributes of a good marriage is a healthy attraction and a healthy sexual bond between a man and a woman. If you are not attracted to your future wife, you may not be able to honor her with the love, devotion and faithfulness that she deserves.
Pray about it.
July 3, 2006 at 10:21 pm
On submission…
The guy should ask himself if he would submit to himself if he were in her shoes. If the answer is “NO” he should ask himself “WHY” and deal with any deficiencies.
Submission is one thing. Needing to do the Limbo or being a master contortionist to submit to a man is something else. Sometimes an unwillingness to submit is her pride. Sometimes it is because no one in their right mind would submit to his stupidity.
March 29, 2007 at 3:24 am
On Submission too…as a Christian woman, you should know God’s word. It is a blessing to submit to your husband, because you are bringing a good name upon your household and your family too. But for a woman to not want to submit, is a stubborn, willful woman, with no intentions to being married. If that were true, she would heed to His word and His commandment. But God never puts in a situation where you are unprepared…He always provides. So if that man isn’t leading your household the way it should be, it will be revealed to you. You have to trust God wholeheartedly.
June 27, 2007 at 12:11 am
i’m new to my faith and even though the word submission is a little daunting at first, i realize that because i’m with a man whom the Lord means everything to, he won’t abuse such a word. i do worry, though, that when we argue, he tells me i cannot be right because he is the man. this seems harsh to me, why would i share my opinion if i knew i was always going to be voted down? help? thanks.
August 3, 2007 at 7:02 pm
I’m no expert in this subject but a big part of being submisive is getting rid of that pride a lot of us women have. Then it takes a lot of faith for us to simply be subject to our husbands and let the Most High take care of it. Its a wonderful things… once you conquer that
August 10, 2007 at 5:36 pm
I am not an expert either but I do have my opinions. I am a christian woman and believe in gender roles clearly defined. I believe that a woman should submitt to her husbands final word, but that he should consider her opinions and feelings when making his decisions. It takes two people to come together and create harmony and that all starts with good communication. Both marriage partners should do their part in making each other happy and anticipating the others needs. A man needs to do his part as a husband to understand the desires of his wife. A wife needs to take care of the house and her husband like it is her castle and her king, but in tern the husband should treat his wife like his queen. the king makes the decisions of the kingdom but the queen is the strengh and support and love that stands behind the king.
October 5, 2007 at 4:44 am
In our church, the pastors tell men that they should make submission easier for women by being more godly, more loving, more patient, to make sure that their wife is number 2 in their lives (no. 1 of course is God) and at the same time, they encourage women to be submissive except if their husbands are telling them to do something that is contrary to God’s Word. Men and women should work together as ONE…communication is very important in a relationship. And as cblacwolf says and as our head pastor also says “treat your wife as a queen and treat your husband as a king”
October 28, 2007 at 9:32 pm
I believe that the submitting means that we voluntarily work together with the husband in righteousness as partners equally sharing decisions. A husband should not not dominate his will as being the right way just because he is the man. This is contrary to God’s loving nature.
December 25, 2007 at 1:28 am
About the woman submitting to the man. Ladies we are all forgetting one Big Thing.
God made Adam first. Then God saw that Adam couldn’t handle things on his own, So…..God had to make Eve.
Therefore,
in the end ladies, the subsmission is not really submission in the negative way because the man will usually come to us for ideas on how to fix the mess he made. Or how to do things in such a way that it will not come out to be such a mess. We just let him take credit for the whole thing. Thus the phrase, “the woman stands by man” or “the woman is the backbone is any great man”.
So, Ladies, its not really submission….its getting our way eventally in a sweet Godly way. (read Geneis)
December 31, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Seleta -
If you ever do get married I feel for that husband as he will be the poor soul mentioned above in the first verse living on the corner of the roof. And by all means - God has called us to PEACE above everything else so if your husband is reading this - God has better for you man. Let go and Let God and find a wife of TRUE Christian character - not worldly manipulative trash. Kick her to the curb and let Jesus transform her - you can’t. As for you Seleta, better to tie a rock around your neck and throw yourself in the waters then let other TRUE Christian women stumble by your ignorant comments.
God made EVE because He saw it wasn’t good for man to live alone as God does not live alone - He has loving companions. Adam could handle things on his own ALONE with GOD and if you read the Book correctly - it was EVE’s mistake of eating the apple that “messed things up” in the Garden of Eden to start.
I’d be very careful the next time you go quoting God - He has promised great wrath to ANYONE who adds or takes away from HIS WORD.
January 8, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Seleta and Ryan I think I’m going to marry both of your comments. On the one hand, God did notice that Adam lacked something while he was alone, and made Eve. And on the other hand it was to provide him with companionship. He created her to be a help-mate. That means we as women were created to help (this is why we can’t help but get in people’s business sometimes, or fall into the habit of telling people “what they should do” we are only trying to be helpful lol). What I have learned about submission is that it is a yielding. It calls for you to become more dependent on God. When you talk to your husband and he doesn’t listen to you, or doesn’t understand fully what you are saying, you are not to argue with him, we (as women) are called to get in our prayer closets and pray to God to speak to our husbands, and to open his heart so that our words may be received, and then go back and talk it out with him. I think God called us to this because we can be emotional and dramatic at times (not ALL of us, and NOT ALL the time) and men are traditionally analytical so it forces us to marry the two concepts in an effort to hear what God is TRULY saying is the direction of our household. We become closer to perfection when we marry someone who compliments us. (why do you think that opposites attract? Remember the ying and the yang makes a complete circle). At the end of the day, I believe that God called us to Submit to HIM (all of us), so even if the man is the head of the household, God is still in control of ALL THINGS! Including my “hard-headed husband” (*smile*)
January 8, 2008 at 10:48 pm
I would say that submission is definitely a multi-directional street. Yes the Bible says that a wife should in fact submit to her husband, but it also talks about the husband. A husband must be able to submit to God. Being a leader of the household is not in the idea of the tradition of the American 50s, rather in the context of Spirituality. The husband must strive to be the spiritual leader of the household so that God can direct the family through him. He has the descenting voice when it comes to God, but his voice should not go without consultation from his wife. God may call upon the wife, to communicate with her husband on what direction he should lead their household, NOT DICTATE every decision that stands before him. I think people get caught too much in the idea, without exploring what the idea his trying to say. Any marriage should strive to be harmoniuos, harmonious to God’s will, as well as to each other. It is a multi-directional street that calls upon many roads. Each road traveled should be under the will of God, with that, all destinations will be blessed with his presence!
January 14, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I came upon these comments when I was doing research for my “Familia” (family) class on characteristics of the Christian woman. The comments above really bothered me. I have been blessed with a happy marriage for 17 years and think that my husband is the most wonderful man in the world. A gift from God. Our relationship is not one of dominance or submission but of becoming one flesh. One Flesh to serve God. His strengths help my weaknesses, my strengths become his. Being a team and creating self worth in each other make us a strong family unit. Genesis 1:27 “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” Keeping God in the center of your relationship will help you both be servants to each other. Christ came to serve others, not to be served. We are all (man and woman) called to be Christ like and serve each other.
February 24, 2008 at 3:49 am
http://www.pinn.net/~sunshine/book-sum/xtian2.html
The above link is a really good article on misogynistic men but can apply to women to. # 18, 1-10 of the article outlines what a healthy relationship is. Scripture shouldn’t be used to justify abuse or as a control tactic for either gender. What abusive Christians (esp. men) do not realize is that Jesus treated women better than the Jews or Romans treated them in their culture. Abuse is a choice. An abuser chooses to act the way he/she does but does not take responsibilty for the actions. Jesus taught a message of love, not fear. I often wonder if those who treat “their neighbor as theirself” in an abusive, controlling, or hateful way really do not know how to love themselves in the first place.