Characteristics of a Christian Mate
(Continued from Characteristics of a Christian Husband and Characteristics of a Christian Wife)
The following scriptures give traits and characteristics for a Christian spouse of any gender:
You Must Be Sexually Attracted to Him/Her
1 Corinthians 7:3
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:4
The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
Must He/She Be A Believer?
2 Corinthians 6
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? However, the Bible also speaks about an unbelieving husband or wife being sanctified through marriage:
1 Corinthians 7
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
In the search to find your Christian mate, pray, as in all things and ask God to help you to find that person. But remember - it is all in God's timing and not your own. Pray, be diligent and, in the meanwhile, seek to fashion yourself after God's idea of a Christian husband or a Christian wife. Your search might just end that much sooner!
January 30, 2007 at 1:25 pm
“You Must Be Sexually Attracted to Him/Her”
The Bible verses you cite to support that are absurd. They do not say anything related to you ‘must’ be sexually attracted to your spouse. Simply stated, it says you must not withhold sex from your partner. It does not matter if they are attractive or not…fulfill your duties.
February 14, 2007 at 10:05 pm
You’re right - that verse does not say that you should be attracted to your husband or wife. It quite accurately says that you must not withhold sex from your spouse.
However, my point was this: God intended sex to be a beautiful union between two married individuals. How likely do you think it will be a joyful, productive experience if you have no attraction to your spouse? And why would you marry someone to whom you are not attracted?
Looks are not everything, but God gave us eyes for a reason. Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Whatever is pleasing to you (in a mate) I’m sure would be pleasing to God.
Thanks for your input!
March 27, 2007 at 3:30 am
We’ve been married several years. My husband is a strong, kind and wonderful man deserving of my respect and love. He likes sex - lots of sex. At least 6-8 times a week, day or night and several times on weekends. He has never asked me to do anything sinful. He is never forceful, always kind and is complimentary, but he can’t get enough. Often he wakes me at night and I have never denied him. He is the head of our home and I am happy submit to him. The bible teaches I must not withhold sex. My husband is a beautiful and strong lover but how much does a guy really need?
March 29, 2007 at 11:32 pm
I love that you are so loving to your husband. Modern sciences teach us that men often connect emotionally through sex while women prefer talking and socializing (generally speaking). And, of course, some men just have higher sex drives then their wives. Six-eight times a week seems like a bit much though (According to recent statistics, most couples have sex an average of two times a week. I don’t think that’s completely true (most married couples I know engage in sex more than that), but it gives you an idea of what is considered the ‘norm.’
Having sex with your mate should be a loving, wonderful experience that benefits both of you. As much as I applaud your desire to please your husband, I don’t actually think that having sex 6-8 times a week is even healthy for a woman’s body. We all need rest sometimes.
My advice? I would definitely pray about it first. I’ve always been surprised at the direction God has given me about the people and relationships in my life. He can often help direct our thoughts and actions in ways that we never really thought possible.
I hope you are able to come to a place where you both agree on the number of times that you are both comfortable with having sex on average per week. I will pray with you that God’s will is revealed in your life.
Let me know how it goes…
June 20, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Re: Horvath (cf. above 1/30/07) Huh? Sanctified sex is to be enjoyed. Reasonings aside, **some** of us are not capable of these things in the absence of a partner we are not attracted to–you do them and yourself a dis-service.
We need to get religion out of Christianity.
December 25, 2007 at 1:40 am
Re: Casey (03/27/07)
Girl, I said Girl…..do you know how many women would love to be in your predictament of having sex with their husband six times a week.
Enjoy it while he can still perform because his
T-level will decrease as he ages. One day all you will have is warm memories.
March 19, 2008 at 3:21 am
About the sexual bit, while it’s definitely not the most important factor, some level of attractiveness-physical AND sexual-are needed for a healthy marriage.
As far as the frequency of the sex, a woman should not