Characteristics of a Christian Husband
What attributes should you look for in a Christian mate? Following is a handy checklist of relevant scriptures that you should keep in mind as you search for your Christian soulmate:
1. He should be willing to put your relationship before all others:
Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to (to cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch) his wife, and they will become one flesh.
2. He should be a good leader:
Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head (metaphor, anything supreme, chief, prominent of persons, master lord: of a husband in relation to his wife of Christ: the Lord of the husband and of the Church of things: the corner stone) of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
3. He should love you as much as he loves himself and be willing to give himself for you:
Ephesians 5
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. Next: Characteristics of a Christian Wife
June 25, 2006 at 9:05 pm
My dear husband won’t talk of his faith at all; says it’s too personal. So I don’t know what he is thinking.He is smart and faithful and loves the Lord; tends to be judgmental of people. I am anxious that he fill the three requirements of a true Christian (I John 5:1-2). So far he names Jesus Christ as Son of God, but as for love of mankind, I don’t see it that much, and he never opens the Bible to see what Christ expects of him.
July 11, 2006 at 12:03 pm
Wow, I see I am not the only one married to a man like that
July 19, 2006 at 1:32 am
My boyfriend is displaying some questionable attributes. Some days his faith is shakey, somedays he’s telling me, a devout christian, that I need some God time…it’s very very weird. He is planning on marrying me, but I’m not so sure more recently. I know it’s not his personality to become the spiritual leader of the household, and i need to talk to him about that. We’ve been together for a year and a half. I refuse to live in an unchristian marriage. You don’t play games with God like that.
Any suggestions?
July 25, 2006 at 2:06 am
Vanessa:
All I can ask is that you re-read what you have written above. You have named some very good reasons not to marry him, but not many why you should. What do you feel in your heart is the right decision? Can you accept your boyfriend wholely for the man that he is? Will you feel satisfied in the relationship with him if you two were married? You don’t seem to have much confidence that this relationship is the right one for you (judging by your own words). It’s okay to stay and it’s okay to leave - but it’s not okay is to settle. If you are convinced in your heart that where you are is the right place for you, then stay. But if you have any doubts about the relationship, explore them, try to figure out what you think. Talk to someone you trust about your fears. And make a decision that you can really, honestly and truly live with.
September 28, 2006 at 5:44 pm
i wanted to ask if my girlfriend is an unbeliever, can i married with her someday?
September 29, 2006 at 1:12 pm
Are you a believer? Have you prayed about your decision? The Bible definitely encourages us to marry other believers. That much is clear. But that doesn’t mean a marriage with an unbeliever is out of the question - it’s just not necessarily the best choice.
I would suggest that you diligently seek God’s guidance in this matter. Take this time of prayer as an opportunity to become closer to Him and open up your ’spiritual ears’ to be able to hear from Him more clearly. He definitely has something He wants to share with you regarding this matter and only He will know the answer to that question.
I will be praying that you hear God’s voice clearly in this very important matter.
September 29, 2006 at 3:58 pm
i am a Believer. My girlfriend told me that he believe God is real. She go to church on chrismas time. But when i ask her to totally turn to God and became a believer, she always told me that she can’t let go of the ‘God’ that she worship right now. i pray very hard to God but i can heard anything. please help ok? i feel so happy that i would able to told you all my problems. thank you so much. i am glad that i am a christian. Praise the LORD!!!
October 5, 2006 at 6:28 pm
My best advice would be for you to leave the relationship alone then. Being married is hard enough without being with someone who does not believe in the same God that you do. God is the One who will make your covenant secure - He will undergird you, strengthen your faith in Him and make your relationship stronger. Without Him, you will have nothing.
June 12, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I do not boast in anything but the Lord; however, I will share a blessing that is being married to a Christian man. Almost everyday, I catch him reading the word of God alone. He washes me with scripture that he shares. He corrects me, with love, when I’m overly emotional and soulish. He puts me before anyone. No “boys’ nights out”, no criticism of me to his family, no time that isn’t spent in the best interest of his family or me. His “guy time” is spent serving in a men’s ministry or at a men’s retreat. He doesn’t minister other women unless I am there, or I give consent. He asks my opinion about all decisions. Almost always, we are “one” in our choice. One Spirit. He works hard and does the best with God’s gifts to him. Most importantly, he demonstrates strong faith, and loves that I am his “perfect help”. I thank God every day for my husband. He is not perfect, but he is exactly who God had planned for me. With that, how can I criticize? God knows exactly what He is doing! Follow His voice if you are dating. When my husband and I were dating, God practically SCREAMED at me, “MARRY HIM!” The enemy fought and tried to send me running, but God’s voice far overpowered the Lord’s. Praise be to the Most High. Oh, and one more thing. We are each others’ number 2’s. God is #1. Always. The only way it can work.
July 3, 2007 at 12:44 pm
To A Wife
Thanks for the amazing sharing - it really touched my heart and provides me with some insight as to something I’ve been hesitant about. I do fully agree - the only way any relationship can work is when God is number one
Amen!
Can anyone please shed any light on what EXACTLY it means for a husband to be a leader? Does that mean making all decisions, or being proactive in thinking of ideas? Does that also mean that a husband always has to be the more ambitious of the two? Please share your thoughts.
September 21, 2007 at 4:48 am
I’m confused. My boyfriend grew up in a Christian home and is very involved in his church and truly loves God. He currently is taking almost full financial responsibility of his home at the age of 22. His mom, aunt, grandmother, and sister all live with him. The only person working is his sister. His two brothers moved out and do not help financially. My boyfriend states that I SHOULD be willing to live with him and his family if it came down to that if we get married. Your number one characteristic states that a man will leave his parents to be with his wife. Does that mean we should literally be living alone when we get married? My boyfriend states that if I am not willing to accept his situation, then I am not the one for him. I told him that things will work themselves out, maybe his brothers will start helping, maybe his mom or aunt will get a job. He just doesn’t want to marry someone who will complain about his situation I guess. He states he does not want to abandon his mom and fully accepts this responsibility God has given him. We decided to take one month apart from each other to pray and get counseling on our own and hopefully when we meet again we will have made a decision. We both love each other and this seems to be the biggest issue. Is this a good enough reason to decide to end a relationship?? I think I can deal living with his family, but Im always hopeful for a better situation. Any advice or comments??
October 10, 2007 at 11:32 pm
My Boyfriend and I are engaged to be married in January and honestly I am really excited. I worry though that he will not be the best leader for me though. I tend to like things done straight away whereas he will put things off and forget about them or do them at the last minute, a trait that really bugs me. His relationship with God goes up and down, as do we all but i know he is committed to God. I’m not sure how much I should expect from him as a leader to me and what is ok for me to do in the relationship, how much i can take over. Does anyone have any suggestions about how i can encourage him to be a more of a leader to me? But even then i am confused about what is enough and what i should consider as not enough and look for someone else.
November 6, 2007 at 3:51 am
Cat, my advise to you is prayer. Ask God to reveal the truth about this relationship. Pay attention to the warning signs God is giving you about this relationship. There are going to be tough times in marriage…and then what? Your husband has to protect you in prayer and cover his family in prayer. In this case, you sound stronger and you will get frustrated spiritually. Pray and listen to God…not your emotions. If this is God’s will though, it will all work out so your joy may be complete!!!!
November 12, 2007 at 5:04 pm
that last one is the hardest to do i think.
December 3, 2007 at 12:27 pm
I AM IN RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS SUPPOSE TO BE CHRISTAIN NATURE, MY PARTNER POSES TO BE TO CHRISTIAN DUE TO HER DESIRE FOR WORHIP AND PRAYER TO GOD, BUT CONSIDER ME WHO IS NOT BOSTRIOUS IN WORSHIP AND PRAYER TO BE SOMETHING ELSE, SOMETIME I HAVE TO EDUCATE HER DEEDS BY BIBLICAL REFERNCE FOR HER TO KNOW WHERE IS IS LACKING. I DO NOT DISTINGUISH MY SELF SO MUCH BUT I BELIEVE IN GOD THE FATHER ALIGHTY AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST. THIS PARTNER OF MINE COMPERS ME OFTEN TO SOMEONE SHE CLAIMS WANTED TO MARRY HER AND COSIDERS HIM TO BE MORE CHRISTIAN THAN ME. YESTERDAY SHE ADVICE A FRIEND ON PHONE RGARDING FAMILY ISSUE AND HER CONTRIBUTION TO THE OTHER PARTY WAS SO HEART BREAKING, JUDGING FROM HER SPRITUAL BACKGROUND, AM WORRIED AND AT A LOSS OBOUT THE MARRAIGE PLANS. PLEASE ADVICE
December 24, 2007 at 10:43 pm
12/24/07
To Joseph A.,
Joseph, Joseph,Joseph……You can do bad by yourself, you can do good by yourself!!
Why do you think God and the Holy Spirit have you thinking this way and have you so upset that you write about it on a christian website?
PRAY, PRAY, PRAY……………………
next, PRAY SOME MORE……Because people come and people go, girlfriends come and girlfriends go. Just like my past boyfriends came and went. Jesus and God stay with us. Jesus said his peace he will leave with us. Not like the peace of the world that can be taken away. His peace stays with us. If you are already unhappy with this dippy girl before you marry her, how much more horrible will the situation be when you two are married, living together and you are STUCK in your unhappiness. ITS BLESSED TO BE SINGLE AND HAPPY!
AMEN…HALLELUJAH, THANK YOU JESUS ! !
February 24, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Hey I was inspired by some of what I read. I do not have a Christian husband, or should I just say a husband at all. I really long for one…one who loves me and i him. I think I know who God has for me but we live in different cities. I just hope God does not forget about me or is not angry because of my past mistakes. Although our sin may be as crimson He washes it as white as snow.
May 1, 2008 at 8:09 pm
I am separated and have been for the past 4 going on 5 years. My husband is living with his girlfriend in another state and getting ready to have a baby in a month. Yet he still does not want a divorce. He said he realize he left someone who was for him for a person he thought he wanted. Becasue he is an unbeliever and the bible says we should not leave if they desire to stay with you, does that apply in this case.
He contested a divorce twice before his girlfriend got pregnant, but he did not leave her.
Now he begs me not to. My son and I have a good relationship with him. we talk and I have forgiven him, however, I no longer think he is the man for me.
What should I do?
May 21, 2008 at 6:02 pm
All above touched my heart! I am marry a man that isn’t a believer, despite he says the opposite. I am marry for 15 years. It has been so hard to maintain a relationship with someone that doesn’t have God as the leader of our house! I decided to move to USA because I believed my husband wans’t understand well the message in my church in Brazil. In USA his attitude was the same . He didn’t have a close relationship to God and God’s people. He likes to drink, he likes pornography and I am living a life by appearences. I would like have someone’s advice because I am putting my weakness in God’s hands, but I am not strong and I am getting tired!
What should I do?